Flo: Well, the father/son camp-out is this weekend
and seeing that Tommy's father is dead, Alice is going to ask
Mel if he'd like to take his place.
Vera: looking puzzled. Does the cemetery allow that?
western star Jerry Reed visits the diner for
a second visit, shortly after the departure
Alice: Oh, yes... this is our new waitress, Belle Dupree. This is
Jerry Reed, Belle.
Jerry: Well, hi, Belle... how ya doing?
Belle: It's my pleasure! And you know, I sure do
just love your records! Wooh!
Jerry: (Referring to the
northerners around her) You know you the only one here that don't
Belle: Right on!
Rancid Meat Epidemic
is attempting to promote Mel's Diner on a
live television interview, with her
Jolene: The customers at the diner are just so
nice. That's Mel's Diner. Uh, well they were
nice when we had customers.
Host: Oh, uh, business is a little slow, is it?
Jolene: Oh, well it's not Mel's fault. He can't
help it if Quickie Burger opened
up down the street.
Host: Tell me, Jolene. What makes
Quickie Burger so popular?
Jolene: Well, uh, Ted, I guess it's
that they serve great burgers! Oh...
uh, it's not that Mel's are bad, you
know. They're just tiny.... Now,
uh, don't get me wrong. You know, Mel
uses good meat. It's just that he lets
it sit around too long... Now, I don't mean
that he does that on purpose. If there
are no customers to order burgers, then
naturally the meat's gonna get rancid on
him. By that I don't mean that anyone
died on him or anything. Well okay, there
was that one man....
(and on and on)
Flo: (waiting on a customer) Hi
handsome...what'll it be?
Customer: Well, what have you got in mind?
Flo: If it's the same thing you have in mind, you
ain't gonna find it on the menu.
Mel and Jerry Reed
Alice: There's no answer at her apartment... where
could she have gone?
Jolene: Well according to Monochrome Magazine, to
track down somebody, you gotta think like
that person... so just give me a second and
I'm gonna try to think like Vera.
Alice: (after a few seconds) What are you coming up with?
Jolene: A total blank.
Mel: That's thinking like Vera.
Alice: My husband didn't believe in insurance.
Mel: How come?
Alice: It didn't come in a six-pack.
Flo: (to Alice) You and I are good friends. I'd hate for
marriage to get between us.
Henry: (Explaining why people
go to the diner, despite the bad meals) We
love the ambience of Mel's Diner.
Customer: What ambience?
Vera: That's what they pick you up in after you've
eaten Mel's food.